99 Problems, But A Vole Ain't One

When life gives you lemons, they say, make lemonade. But when life wakes you up at 3 in the morning and then prevents you from falling asleep again... touché. Life wins. I guess I'll blog.


Obviously, I'm no longer depriving myself from the use of my computer. In fact, I've been using it for a week or so now. I did manage to keep a (b)log of sorts on paper for a while - soon to be transcribed into the cyber-world - but the "research" wasn't nearly as ambitious as my initial dream.


I've been busy lately, but what's new? Actually, quite a bit is new. In the past month I have applied to grad school, begun planning a canoe trip, and begun the search for school jobs anew. Then, just yesterday, I found out that I was tentatively accepted to Hamline University's Masters of Teaching program (pending final application review), that I could still enroll in summer classes and that summer classes began next Monday. I also a seemingly ideal job to apply for, through Americorps, began menu planning for the canoe trip and found out that an old friend had also just been accepted to a Masters program at Hamline and might be moving up to the Cities in the near future. Finally, in order to fund grad school (beginning in T minus 3 days), I now have several grants and scholarships to apply for.


When it should have been falling asleep at 11:30 last night my mind was crunching numbers and working logistics. Somehow this was all going to work out. I think. After what seemed like several hours of tossing and turning, I finally managed to let my mind wander enough to slip into unconsciousness...


ONLY TO BE AWAKEN TO THE SOUND OF MOVING AND SCRATCHING! My first instinct was to think "[bleeping] neighbors!" and shut the window. This I did, but the scratching only increased. Next thought was "my, those ants are up early." (I have ants trying to build an anthill in my cheaply-trimmed egress window. I gave up trying to stop them and contained it with a piece of paper and some masking tape.) I turned on my light to confirm my suspicions and YIPE! a rodent was frantically scampering back and forth on my window sill. (Apparently he had fallen into my egress window bay, become trapped and managed to find or chew a hole through my screen, only to be trapped again on my window sill.)


Now at 3 AM my mind was back in action. Room now fully lit, I grabbed my 25¢ garage sale bicycle commuter gloves and closed in for the pounce. Little vole friend (I've ruled out mouse, and he seemed too fast for a mole) did not like this plan and shrieked as he dove off the sill. It was a short fall to the card table where - again he was trapped. Another lunge, another shriek and another dive - this time to the carpet... and full reign of my room. I chased the shrieking little bugger up and down the walls of my room until finally he made it under my closet door. Great. A frightened rodent trapped with all my expensive camping gear (down sleeping bag, down jacket, camping pads, etc) - including my brand new, never-been-used, birthday REI camping pad. By now I was fully awake; vole friend was cruisin' for a bruisin'.


I finally managed to nab him, nestled under a jacket. I foolishly wasted time (as he tried to chew through my glove) taking this picture:

He managed to escape from me once. I tracked him down once more. Then finally I [stupidly] managed to shove him back out the hole in my screen. Then I tried to fall asleep to him scampering around in my window bay. Various thoughts came to mind including but not limited to: creating a make-shift ramp (a la Brooke rescuing a rat from a pit toilet with a ladle during her time in Mozambique), throwing him food occasionally and keeping him as a window pet, or letting the little blighter tunnel out.


I turned the lights back on, donned the lobster glove once more, took out my window screen and spent a few minutes grabbing piles of dead leaves and rocks in vain, while vole friend shrieked and darted. Finally I nabbed him for the last time and chucked him in a bush at ground level. I likewise rescued a more docile toad. By the time I crawled back in bed my mind was back to school budgets, syllabi, grants and schedules. Soon (4 AM) birds were chirping. Then (5 AM) light started entering my room. I gave up.


Now it's 6 AM, I'm all done blogging and I'm beginning to hear the real ants move their little tiny rocks, one at a time.