or "substitute teaching front," I suppose, since they are pretty different. As I was briefly discussing with my cousin (a 'real' teacher) the other day, I have the wonderful benefit of being done for the day at 2:30 or 3:30. I can go home, unwind, decide I don't want to come in the next day... whatever. If I don't want to deal with little kids, I can opt for middle school or high school only (though I would get less calls), and my lesson plans are usually simple. Not to mention they are made for me.
By contrast, a 'real' teacher makes lesson plans, gets up every school day, teaches most of a full day, stays a little after, and takes papers home to grade on nights and weekends. And they're responsible for the education of their students. On the plus side, they get to stick with a group of students for a whole year, or at least a semester. And they can watch their kids grow and mature, and see them learning, making progress. And if I'm not mistaken, though teaching is an (arguably) underpaid profession, 'real' teachers still make quite a bit more money than me. (Not to say I begrudge them. They earn every penny!)
Seeing how rewarding even substitute teaching can be, I'm thinking more and more that I would like to be a high school science teacher some day. I like being a positive (hopefully) influence it kids' lives and watching them learn. And I think that all the added benefit of becoming a teacher would far outweigh the extra effort and time commitment it would mean for me. Plus, I could totally design way cool labs for kids, and we could shoot off rockets, and learn about the heat exchanges involved in blowing stuff up and...
Anyway, the whole reason I started this post was to tell some more humorous tales that I have drawn from my experience. One happened quite recently. By Sunday evening I had not yet gotten a call for subbing, and so I went to bed (early, due to a long, exhausting weekend) with my cell phone on, sitting on my night stand. I nodded off right away. I was awoken with a start to my phone ringing. It was still dark and I was suffering the shock of coming out of a deep sleep. I set my alarm clock for about 6:30 am, and usually I get calls around then or a little after. Weird. The caller ID said, "Naffy" - not "sub caller lady." Even weirder. It must be important, though, if my good friend Jonathan was calling me this early in the morning. I picked up the phone and said hello. "Hey Matthew, how's it going? So I was going to respond to your email, but then I thought I'd just call and talk since we haven't talked in a while anyway." Hmmm. Didn't sound that important. "Dude, what time is it?" Jonathan's answer: "Oh shoot! I'm sorry! I forgot you went to bed so early!" I looked at my clock. It was 11:15 pm. I had been asleep for 45 minutes. Suddenly the still-dark world made more sense. We set a different time for talking, and I went back to bed for another 7 hours. I woke up at a more reasonable hour and got a call for a 1st grade class. Which brings me to my second story.
3rd grade last Wednesday, 2nd grade last Thursday, and 1st grade today. And what a day it was! (I told myself that I would try every classroom setting at least once before saying I wouldn't do it, but if little kids get proportionately crazier the more they retro-age, I might just have to rethink my Trying Things Out strategy!) We got through their teacher's lesson plans for the most part, but I was amazed at how often I was needed to put out this fire or that - hurting tummies, using the markers they "weren't supposed to," telling on people for using the markers they "weren't supposed to," a sore eye, a broken bag, a shortage of band-aids, approximately 1 million other grievances and another 2 million things that I forgot to do that their teacher usually did. But to save your reading eyes, I'll just tell the story of a bit of reconciliation work done by myself this morning. I'll even cut it down to just dialogue.
Snot-Nosed Little Boy 1: Mr. Rody, he [points to Snot-Nosed Little Boy 2] has my pencil.
SNLB 2: No I don't! It's my pencil now!
Snot-Nosed Little Boy 3: Yeah, it's his [pointing to SNLB 2] pencil because I sold it to him for three [money flashes].
Mr. Rody [to SNLB 2]: Okay, so you have his pencil?
SNLB 1: Yeah, and my mom said that I couldn't give it away.
Rody: [to SNLB 1]: So how did he get it?
SNLB chorus [in unison, with increasing volume]: He took my pencil! Nuh-uh! But my mom said you shouldn't give stuff back that you buy! I want my pencil back! BLAHBLAHBLAH We're little kids going crazy!!!
Rody: Okay, okay! Now everyone calm down! Let me ask you all some questions, and you can respond when I ask you a question, but you have to use your quiet voice. [to SNLB 2] Where did you get the pencil?
SNLB 3: He [indicates SNLB 3] sold it to me for $3.
Rody: Okay. Should you guys be selling things like that in school?
SNLB 2 & 3: No.
Rody: Right, now where [to SNLB 3] did you get the pencil?
SNLB 2: He [indicates SNLB 1] gave it to me.
Rody [to SNLB 1]: Did you give him the pencil?
SNLB 1: Yeah. [Rody gives him a bit of an Are You Freaking Kidding Me look.] But I forgot. My mom said I couldn't give the pencil to anyone.
Rody: Okay. Well, can you [looking at SNLB 3] give the $3 back to him [looks at SNLB 2]? And can you give him [indicates SNLB 1] his pencil back.
SNLB 1, 2 & 3: Yeah. I guess. Okay. [trades occur. students calm down and go back to work.]
Rody: [turns to audience] Wait. Really? After all that? These kids are N-U-T-S nuts!
Stay away from kindergarten (or did you teach them already?)--you can't just ask them to line up a line...they don't quite know what that means yet. Sigh. My dad is a principal now, but he used to teach 8th grade science. As a principal, he has to sub for classes if they can't get a sub, and he lives in fear of the kindergarteners.
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