The Nomad's Lament

I was originally intending to write a light and humorous post about my last day of work. It was to have gone something like this:

Yep, it turns out that there wasn't that much more to do around here (the winery). I had one last day slated to work, bottling ~2000 liters of vodka. [By the way, a good way to not be an alcoholic if you're not already one is to be around that quantity of that wretched stuff for that amount of time!] Typical of my stint at the winery, the day was a logistical nightmare. To get bottles from the barn I had to first spend 20 minutes with a pickaxe, chipping away the ice that had seized up the barn door. Then I noticed that the forklift in the barn wouldn't start because of the cold. Then I tried to jump the forklift with my car. Then it still wouldn't start. Then I had to move the cases of empty bottles onto smaller, more manageable palates and load them into the truck with the tractor - not really designed for this. Then I almost died several times when the weight of the bottles was about as much of the tractor and I was tipping all over the place while driving them over the snow. Then we finally started bottling and realized that it was going to take FOREVER. Then I realized that I was starting to get sick. 200 liters later I had a pretty bad sore throat. 200 liters later I had a nasty fever. Before we were halfway through I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep. So much for a nice cozy sentimental last day of work!

With some fleshing out, I'd like to think that I could have made that funny. But I don't really feel like it. I'm now sitting in my bare room one last time, an hour or so from leaving (assuming I can coax my loaded car out of the icy driveway). I cooked Colin one last breakfast and we shared it as usual... only this time I wouldn't be going to work with him, nor would I be here when he got back.

Funny how emotions work. They led me to decide to leave this place. The story - since so many people seem to be asking - of how I came to decide to leave Colorado:

By the end of fall, Jonathan had left, and it was down to just Colin and I working our *tails* off. Work days were long, and stress left everyone feeling less than their best. I got chewed out a few times at work for this or that - I hold that I've been giving nothing but my all since arriving here, but upon occasion Lance and Anna thought otherwise. Also, I was getting a bit sick of winery work - moving tanks, moving liquid between tanks, always being overly cautious... it started to drain me. Several times I had decided to leave by Christmas (in a fit of emotion), but then Colin helped me think about things a little more positively/rationally... Furthermore, though I had friends I wasn't feeling like I was really connecting with people here. More likely than not, I was just recalling the deep friendships of Goshen, forged by living with the same people for years at a time. Whatever the case I left for vacation a bit more than fed up with the Western Slope. Then, after visiting all of my fine friends in Goshen and longing for the comfort I once found there, I started thinking about my life while in the solitude of the northwoods of Minnesota. And my conclusion was that I should leave. I arrived home, put in my notice of intent to leave, and then proceeded to have a totally awesome, fun 3 or so weeks.

Maybe it was the knowledge that I was for sure going to be leaving, maybe it was not having to work that much, maybe it was seeing friends again after being away for a month... I don't know. But I had a lot of fun these past few weeks. And I spent some quality time with some quality people, and I realized - duh - that part of making friends is just the time involved in getting to know them. Sure there aren't that many of us out here... and we're all fairly different from each other (as perhaps compared to the much more homogenous culture of Goshen)... but we have fun together. And we share with each other - food, thoughts, floorspace, feelings, [gossip]... And now that I'm actually leaving, I'm sad to. I'm sad to leave the mountains, the fresh summer fruit... and I'm sad to leave the people. So before I go... Shout out to the interns (old and new)! Shout out to the Cransons! Shout out to the frisbee croud! Shout out to the Sarahs! Shout out to the VISTA folks! Shout to Luke, Logan and the local crowd! Shout out to anyone I've ever met in Paonia and Hotchkiss and the surrounding area! And shout out to the best housemates ever: Colin and Google!

And now this blog comes full circle in a sense. I began it when I was just setting out on the adventure that was my time in Colorado. And now I'm headed back to the land of corn and humidity and excessive cloudcover... but it's still an adventure. And who knows where I'll be headed next...