Left Jab, Right Hook AND HE'S DOWN FOR THE COUNT!

He enters the ring: Several weeks ago I began job searching here in my new home of St. Paul. A daunting task and one that I'm quite sick of. Having moved so many times in the past year I've also spent a great deal of time job searching. I hate the resumes, the revising, the tailoring... I hate the scanning of want-ads, Craigslist, websites... I hate interviews, formality, dressing up, showing off your abilities... Most of all, I hate the gut-wrenching feeling of knowing that you don't know when or from where your next paycheck will come - nor do you know whether you are being seriously considered at any of these jobs you are applying to.

The opponents circle: I gather information, I suck it up and revise my resumes. I apply and email and submit. I get fatigued but am propelled by the knowledge that I need to find work.

Matthew swings and connects!: At the advice of Brooke (a former employment counselor who helped refugees find jobs) I followed up some applications with phone calls. I was rewarded with two interviews. One, a national tutoring company, made it sound like I could probably work for them. The pay would be good, the hours few - though they would be evenings and weekends. The other interview was at a local cafe - very awesome place - and went quite well. A few days later I was offered a job at the cafe. Not quite full time, decent pay, some weekend work, but I was sure I would enjoy it. But that very morning I saw a posting on Craigslist for an Education Assistant position at a nearby high school. Right up my alley. I asked the owner of the cafe if I could give him an answer in a few days.

He closes in for the knockout blow...: I called the school, got an interview scheduled, and prepped myself and my materials. The interview went well. Granted, I didn't have loads of experience in a school setting, but I thought I would be a good match for the job. AND the job would look great on a future education-tailored resume. Not to mention, it was full time, offered benefits and payed much better than the cafe. Now to wait for their response.

but his opponent wipes the blood from his mouth and shakes it off: I wait and I wait. No word. Finally, today I can't take it anymore. I call the school. Only voicemail. Finally, later in the afternoon I reach the assistant director who helped interview me...

Left jab!: "Sorry, the position's been filled." [dahhhhhhhhhhh! I got my hopes up!!! and for what!] I call up the cafe. Hi, I'm just calling to say I didn't get the other job. I'd love to work for you if you still want me.

Right hook!: "Huh. Well, actually, I've been interviewing some other people since. Tell you what, give me a call back on Friday and I can let you know for sure."

And Matthew is down for the count!: So now I wait... just like I was waiting a few days ago, only this time I don't have a fall-back plan. So much more is on the line. I wait... just like I was waiting a few weeks ago, only I've now been job searching for weeks and I'm weary. I'm like a boxer knocked to the ground, trying to get up - knowing that if I don't I lose. Except I can't lose. I have a rent check to send in a few weeks. I must get back up. But it's soooooo difficult.

[End note: I'm not actually worried yet, just depressed. I have other sources of income for now - enough to get by. And on a good note, Brooke and I are eating like kings and queens for very little a month. So far the goal of cooking with raw, simple ingredients is met! Last night: chili and cornbread...]